A minor ishoo

I’ve thought about it. Stella has done me another five minute photo shoot because that tiny bit of cleavage was attracting the wrong clientele. So here are the various incarnations 

 

In the final one, we have the haute couture meld of Stella’s son’s boxers beneath and her John Lewis Pink and Black Collection tea towel on the top. As you can see, I’m almost a nun. Spot the difference. 

Among all of yesterday’s dross, there were a couple of nice emails i.e. more than one liners with no text speak. One was from a chap whose pics showed him on a rather huge motor bike. His profile said that he is looking for someone who will share the pleasures of the freedom of the road. He was quite lyrical about the whole business; I was almost moved. Anyway, I’ve replied, but I’m having second thoughts, and I’ll tell you for why…

I can tell you because the likelihood of any of my prospects ever reading this blog is infinitesimal. Here it is girls – you know when you’ve had children the natural way, and you know when your pelvic floor is not as robust as it used to be… Well, voila the problem with the bike. And more specifically the leathers. I’ve been having a little, almost nothing really, how shall I put it, trickle when I cough or sneeze. Currently, I promise you it is neither here nor there, long way from becoming a torrent, but I’m having to do some forward planning here. Supposing I eventually get it together with this guy, and supposing I do go biking with him, and supposing the roads are bumpy – well, you see where I’m going with this. And having gone there, supposing my affliction gets worse over the course of this incipient romance… I dunno – I can’t see that skin-tight sweaty leathers and incontinence pads are ever going to be a perfect combination, can you? Less Easy Rider, more Weesy Rider. (Sorry.) Not quite Soir de Paris, is it? So, I’m considering buying one of these

It’s the Athena Pelvic Muscle Trainer. Have any of you used one? Does it work? And can you plug yourself in on the way to work in the car while listening to Shakira? 

By the way, Stella claims there’ll be a myriad of other benefits; I shall be more cosy and welcoming, more of a snug fit, she says. Actually, those are my words not hers. She was more to the point, as always.