Where's Roy Orbison When You Need Him?

Here! Go on, open it on another page - you know you want to! 

Have you missed me? Time to face facts! This is sooooo never going to happen - a shag or owt else by the look of it. But the thing is – I’ve promised myself I’m going to keep writing this blog until it does happen, so I simply have to persevere. We could be here some time. folks! 

I can’t wait to tell you what the deal-breaker with Mike was. Are you ready for it?

Holding your breath?

Well, I’ll tell you. It was the fact that I use long words sometimes. Can you believe it? I mean – big deal! I also use very short words (mainly of the s**t, c**p, poo, f**k variety – apologies to anyone who hasn’t heard those words before: I only ever use them if I drop something on my foot – honest!) I think Mike also misunderstood some of the, ahem, ‘poetry’ in my soul. I guess it might be frightening; and by poetry I mean anything that is not spelt out word by word, syllable by syllable, letter by letter. It is probably a ‘man’ thing: they are such simple creatures at heart. All of them. Every single last one.

Now I know I said this might turn out to be a very philosophical post; I thought I was going to drone on about examine La Condition Humaine, loneliness and what prevents us from taking risks. But happily for you, my dear friends, family and followers - I’ve rallied as usual.

I am back on the website and busy sorting. So far, four potentials, of which one is a super brainy giant, and hundreds of thousands of many total idiots. 

PS I have had another date in between, but I can’t possibly tell you a thing about him because - you’ll never guess what – he sussed my nom de plume about two weeks ago. I tell you what – I nearly passed out when he sent me a one line email with just my name and a question mark. I was like this    

for about fifteen minutes. I’m fairly sure he hasn’t read any of these blogs, otherwise why would he still have come on that date? And he didn’t mention the blogs on the date itself. So anyway… erm, he’s a very nice guy. That’s just in case, like. And I like him. We’ll keep it to that, shall we? ;)