"Focus on the journey, not the destination. Joy is found not in finishing an activity but in doing it." Greg Anderson
Easy for him to say! All he ever has to do is wash and shave. That's because he's a man.

My journey starts with the FIRST BLOG; you'll need coffee/tea and probably some chocolate digestives, or maybe some Cadbury's Fruit and Nut, or Green and Black's Organic if you've got more money than sense.

Friday, 1 April 2011

If all else fails...

...try a new approach.

So here's my Plan C. I think it has a lot going for it, don't you?

I turned up for the date on time, walked in the pub, saw him chatting to a group of blokes (frankly, it was hard to miss him) and then made my first mistake. What possessed me to greet him with a handshake? This small gesture revealed to the assembled crowd we were perfect strangers on a blind date, so when we sat down, you could see the guys' bar stools on the verge of toppling Leaning-Tower-of-Pisa-like in order to earwig on our fascinating conversation. I resolved to ignore them.

The conversation was easy from the start: amusing, witty, welcome bits of banter.  Fat chap was an architect, currently working for a charity (notice this is the second time I've gone for the do-gooder type) and with ex wife baggage all worked through and over. He also talked about his kids with great affection and humour; another plus point. So far, so good. He'd particularly liked my profile because among my interests I'd put that I write a bit. Sounding familiar? And by the way, he had half written children's book...

It was going well though, and he suggested dinner.  Fine by me - food is generally the recompense for crap situations, but in this case I really wanted to prolong the evening. As you can imagine, he had a hearty gargantuan appetite, and as the meal progressed, he showed himself to be cheeky, mildly flirty, (though nothing to make my flesh crawl) and in possession of  a wealth of knowledge I don't have; not that he imparted it in a boorish or patronising way - it was just the stuff of chat to him.  We clicked on loads of silly references to music, art, the theatre, sweets we'd eaten when we were kids - loads. At this point I was thinking, 'Hmm. I wonder if Primark sells burkhas?'

When pudding came, he said he had something important to tell me. Gulp! Although he had had his own architect's practice, he had in fact been declared bankrupt two years ago and had narrowly missed serving a prison sentence. It seems he and the Inland Revenue failed to agree on one or two teensy weensy - so miniscule you'd have to look for them with a microscope (which they did) - accounting issues. So! Intelligent, cultured, funny, an excellent conversationalist but fat, fundamentally broke and a semi felon. Great. There was a moment's deflation there, but you know me - Pollyanna's doppelganger - I rallied!

But an honest semi-felon! After all, he'd owned up! What a marvellous guy! I wondered if burkhas came in one size fits all and could I possibly find a Barbie version in pink?

When it came to the bill, he insisted he pay, and I let him, planning to return the favour if possible. I couldn't help myself; I really liked him.

By the time I got home there was an effusive email waiting for me inviting me to dinner at his house. Followers, I accepted.


kettlehunter said...

bit late for Plan C - he's seen your (beautiful) face so will probably have his eyes shut in ecstasy anyway - but if you insist - do go for silk chiffon to add a touch of class, hint of the Vatican visiting mantilla etc.....x

kettlehunter said...

Also you could drape the material over the less appealing parts of his torso, then you could both imagine being with someone else?
No we are grown-ups now and although I understand that men - whatever their size, shape, creed or ego have NO unappealing bits - whereas we women (after exceeding a size 12 and reaching the 30 year age mark should wear Burkhas all the time) We all have to deal with it otherwise we go back to Victorian times and have lovely embroidered nighties with strategically placed holes? (I believe that some orthodox Jewish people follow this too - though please correct me if I am wrong). Just goes to show that the erosion of self confidence in women, when started from an early age, reinforced by the media throughout a lifetime, will eventually render us pliable and grateful for any gesture of interest, however small & by however an undeserving donor! Rant over - but just ponder on how lucky he is to get the attention of a witty, intelligent, attractive and FUNNY lady!

Cousin Bette said...


"but just ponder on how lucky he is to get the attention of a witty, intelligent, attractive and FUNNY lady!"

True! True! How perceptive of you! Do we know each other by any chance?

Anonymous said...

YEY Bette! So glad it went well! I can't wait to hear about the Barbie Burkah! ;-)

suki said...

Get in there!!!! corsetry is my advice...hold it all in/up/back etc.

Jody said...

Well, this was fun!

Jody said...

Well, this was fun!

Cousin Bette said...

Hi Jody! Yes, but was it twice the fun? ;) The woman's been on the sauce!!