"Focus on the journey, not the destination. Joy is found not in finishing an activity but in doing it." Greg Anderson
Easy for him to say! All he ever has to do is wash and shave. That's because he's a man.

My journey starts with the FIRST BLOG; you'll need coffee/tea and probably some chocolate digestives, or maybe some Cadbury's Fruit and Nut, or Green and Black's Organic if you've got more money than sense.

Tuesday, 12 July 2011

The Slave and Stella

Stella was contacted by a rather good-looking 31 year old. Not her usual fare, being over 10 years younger, but he was a great guy, wrote an articulate message and their initial chats were very chummy and normal. But time moved on. Several emails in, they started Instant Messaging, and then he said he had a secret that might be seen as weird by some people. Well, you know how nosy she is."Do go on," she said. 

(Just a mo’ - let me get my notebook out to see exactly what she reported. Ah, here it is...)

Him: Please don’t get offended. You look really gorgeous and I want to be your slave. I’m sure that sounds strange to you.
Her: Yes,it does.
Him: Don’t be scared or anything. I’m not talking about sex or anything like that, unless you want to that is. I’m not at all pervy.
Her: I see. I’m not sure I understand what you mean.
Him: It’s not something you can easily discuss with people. Be open about. I’ve just always wanted to be someone’s slave and do things for them.
Her: What kind of things?
Him: Just the usual.
Her (suspicious): What usual?
Him: You know hoovering, washing up, ironing.

Well! WELL! You can imagine how Stella perked up at this prospect! Someone to do the housework – how flippin’ marvellous! (I was already at "Where’s the dotted line? Sign me up!" at this point in her narrative.) 

Her: And what would I have to do?
Him: You? You don’t have to do anything. You can just come home and I’ll have dinner waiting for you, then I’ll run the bath for you, put candles round it. That sort of stuff. I’ll rub your feet if you want.
Her: Why would you want to do all that?
Him: Honestly? I don’t know. It’s just been my dream ever since I was a teenager.

So there you go. Nowt so queer as folk. Now assuming that he is a genuine person and this really is all he wants, what could be the root cause of such a fantasy? Of such a need? According to Stella, in all their correspondence he was charming (but not in a slimey way), decent, not one comma’s worth of lasciviousness. (Sorry if that word is too long for anyone ;)) Her words to me were, "He was a lovely guy, and while I’m giving you the story for the blog, you are on no account to make fun of him."

Well, I’m not and I won’t. It all comes down to this human frailty business again and the lottery of internal wiring. Is this something to do with his mother? Is this something to do with his sexuality? Is being under someone else’s control comfortingly familiar? I haven’t got a clue.

Stella ended the conversation by saying that she was flattered and thanked him for his offer, but she would have to decline. If she accepted, she said, the situation would make her become a mean person and she didn’t want to be that. Nonetheless, she wished him good luck in his search for someone who will let him express his desires.  

OK then. Story over. Let’s get down to business…

Roll up, roll up, roll up! 

It’s just the housework we’re talking about here, girls! You gotta be in it to win it…


Kettlehunter said...

What are his contact details? I have none of Stella's qualms - she is obviously too young to realise the advantage of a good housekeeper!

Cousin Bette said...

Have I booked you in for the right hours, love? Do you need any extra services? :) I mean, of course, changing the bedding etc.

Anonymous said...

What an oddly random topic to bring up when you haven't even met. Supports my sneaking suspicion that all guys (sorta kinda) are weirdos. ;-)

Now, that being said, do you think he has any interest in moving overseas?

(oh, and btw, thank you very much for your thoughtful comment on the whole W thing yesterday) xoxo

Danusia said...

Thank you for including me! but I'd like to swap my gardening spot for a windows one, if anyone is interested. All I have is one little box of herbs on my balcony and I'm quite capable of managing that (in fact, it's my calming time after a rough day at work as I tend to basil, rosemary, et al).
That being said, I must say I'm not at all surprised by Stella's confessor - there's a lot of that around. Most of them are harmless (or so I've been told!) and after a few weeks of domestic servitude, they come to the realization it wasn't as kinky as they thought it would be. After all, you have to be a nutter to get turned on doing housework!

Cousin Bette said...

Dani and MGTBID- I'm sure whatever you require can be arranged. Now, how can we get him from here to Canada and the States all in one week - could be tricky! And yes, you do have to be a nutter to be turned on by housework - I've never suffered from that affliction... Nope. Never, not ever. ;) Let me see - what would I prefer - great sex or somebody doing all my housework for ever and ever amen... Hmm.

basheeran said...

I'm with Kettlehunter. A little light dusting - what's the harm??

Cousin Bette said...

Bash - You know darn well your joint is immaculate - hahahahaha! How very rude of me...;)What precisely would you need him for? Come on! Spill the beans!

Kettlehunter said...

I think its just too selfish of Cousin Bette to bag so may housework slots - I NEED them!!!