"Focus on the journey, not the destination. Joy is found not in finishing an activity but in doing it." Greg Anderson
Easy for him to say! All he ever has to do is wash and shave. That's because he's a man.

My journey starts with the FIRST BLOG; you'll need coffee/tea and probably some chocolate digestives, or maybe some Cadbury's Fruit and Nut, or Green and Black's Organic if you've got more money than sense.

Thursday, 19 May 2011

Look What I've Just Done!

Meh! So much fannying around against such a short life span. Stella gave me a good talking to this morning and also regaled me with another one of her spectacular disgusting adventures, more of which later. I'm sure the talking to was totally unnecessary. She seems to think

  • I am too picky (and why shouldn't I be?) 
  • I'm dragging my heels (OK, perhaps.)
  • I should be more pro-active. (Must I? Must I really?) 
Imagine! I do have a date lined up for next week, as it happens, but who knows if it will materialize. In the meantime, I've come up with this and sent it to a number of people who keep messaging me for God knows what reason.  

Title of Message: Culling! 
Dear Insert Appropriate Name,  

I'm being ruthless and cleaning the inbox... So here you are... ;) Please cut and paste as applicable.

Dear Cousin Bette,

1. I think you are a truly fabulous wonderful woman whom I'd be an idiot not to meet, so let's make a date.

2. I'm rather bored by the whole business of this website and only come on here to wind people up when there's nothing better to do in the dead of night.

3. I'd probably quite like you as a person, but nothing is going to come of it for a variety of reasons either which I can't go into here, or won't go into here because I don't want to hurt your feelings. 

4. I'm only messaging you out of politeness, having decided ages ago this has no potential for anything. You are, in fact, a bit of a mare. May I suggest you find alternative stabling?

5. I'm really rather too lazy to actually go to the trouble of meeting anyone because, when push comes to shove, I'm not that bothered and like my life exactly the way it is. No extra hassle required.


Another one who bit the dust.
Possibly the man of your dreams.
A potential buddy.

I really don't mind which answer you respond with - this is merely a time-saving application designed for our mutual convenience. 

Thank you for your time and attention,

Cousin Bette

So what do you think? Pro-active enough? Anyone who hasn't replied by the end of tomorrow gets blocked. Good job I have a mild flirtation going on elsewhere. ;) 


Anonymous said...

hahaha! Love it! Just a couple of questions though :

1) Who is this date with next week?
2) When you say 'cleaning the inbox' are you referring to your messages or something a bit more seedy? (what? this is all about pervs in internet dating, right?) ;-)
3) If they have any brains they will all select option 1 with the signature of 'man of your dreams' ;-)

Cousin Bette said...

Ellen - this date next week is probably a mistake. ;) The initial conversation revealed a few minor 'issues' - lol! euphemism for - let's face it, the whole thing is probably going to be a disaster! Also going on another date on Saturday - don't quite know how that happened either. It's Stella's fault for telling me I'm too picky. On the plus side, two people in the last two days have told me how truly marvellous I am, never met anyone like me etc, but they just aren't the guys for me. All that potential lerrrrve, if only I could find a way of fancying them. :(

Downith said...

Okay I love the mass mail approach - might help separate the weak from the chav. (I slay myself)

Cousin Bette said...

Downith - you slay me too!