"Focus on the journey, not the destination. Joy is found not in finishing an activity but in doing it." Greg Anderson
Easy for him to say! All he ever has to do is wash and shave. That's because he's a man.

My journey starts with the FIRST BLOG; you'll need coffee/tea and probably some chocolate digestives, or maybe some Cadbury's Fruit and Nut, or Green and Black's Organic if you've got more money than sense.

Sunday, 3 July 2011

Oh, Grow Up!

OK. So, here’s yesterday’s date. Pleasant man all in all. Quite gentlemanly. Interesting-ish.  Merely five years older than me and yet - so very, very ancient! Looks and outlook. Methuselah... only without the beard. What I'm conveniently forgetting (hehe!) - and this is because I put on 'happy' music to drive to dates, hence arrive there aged just 22 - is that women have the advantage of make-up, hair dye and 21st century corsetry.  

But anyway - why didn't I fit or gel with him? He was a proper bona fide grown-up. Am I really so juvenile? Don’t answer that!

And the minute he said something about cuddling up on the sofa with a good DVD, I was infested with scrambling ants in my pants. Stella says I've got to get over this aversion; it's not that I don't like draping myself over someone for a half hour of DVD - my kids let me do it on occasion with them - it's just not what I'd call an occupation. It's the absence of occupation, and I don't think I could do it more than once a week. So when men go on about it as if it's a life-style choice, into my head pops a vision of this happening through the upholstery with my already not unample derriere. 

Somewhere back at the beginning of these blogs, I revealed my misanthropic tendencies, and perhaps I claimed to revel in impending decrepitude. But, ya know, I was sort of lying. Because old age brings with it the inclination to denigrate anything fresh and new and to dwell on crap like ailments (remind me to never discuss my teeth ever again!), pontificate on how A levels were much tougher during Oliver Cromwell’s time, and recall the days when washing machines lasted for a full five hundred years before you had to call in an engineer. All of which, ultimately, makes you more of a drain than a radiator

(I think) I’m fortunate that I'm frequently in the company of young people, and frankly, on the whole, I like 'em. Even when they are bitching about something, they manage to do it with some level of humour. Ooh, hang on, corrigendum - only if they are at the end of their obnoxious teens, that is. Old people merely moan, whinge, groan and drone and make me want to insert earplugs or sign up to join this lot.  

So, when I am with old people i.e. some of my dates, there is a stifling atmosphere of...
I swear I sit there waiting for them to say something that's going to make my hackles stand to attention. Yesterday, for example, there was the mildest hint of racism, the merest smidge of homophobia, the teensiest tad of bigotry – all of which is usually more than enough to put me right off someone. Instantly. 

In fairness to him, these comments were not statements of opinion, just little throwaway lines that elbowed their way in among some self-deprecatory gems, but I have these well-hidden and rather annoying antennae which ping out when I’m assessing and evaluating. And while the shagability rating (in this case, erm, let’s face it, zip, nada, none) must be considered, the other criterion is 'Could I just drop this man into my life, my family, my friends?' With those views, if they are his views, I don’t think so.

Hmm. Anyway, I'm still going to go out with him a second time (probably whilst doing some kind of activity because I'm all coffeed, drinked and dinnered out)) for the following reasons:
  • We had a two-way conversation.
  • We covered lots of topics.
  • His work and hobbies were interesting, and I learned from him. 
  • As a result of his knowledge (an autodidact by the way, left school at an early age), I found some information on the internet that I'd been looking for for ages, and that's made me grateful and almost ecstatic. 
  • Since he insisted he pay for dinner (I couldn't be bothered to argue and let him), I'm going to have to repay the favour somehow.    
Not sure all of that is enough. What do you think? Maybe he'll grow on me? 

A little like, erm, mould? 


Anonymous said...

:-( ZERO shaggability? That's just plain sad, but glad you're giving him a 2nd date/chance. Try drinking more next time and then see if he's shaggable. :-)

Although I've yet to find a guy 'grow' on me (other than like mold), maybe you will have better luck!

Cousin Bette said...

Ooer - I think you may be right. Shaggability must surely have 2 Gs in it. I should think two full bottles of vodka might make him slightly more desirable, but, er, no, probably not. :P I am clearly aiming way too high...

Anonymous said...

Hey give the poor old guy a chance! charie chaplin was still at it at 70. Just tell him you are shy and keep the lights out, just ignore the wrinkles as you stroke his bum! x

Cousin Bette said...

Oh Anonymous - being 'at it' is not he same as being 'with it' in a multitude of ways. Let's face it, my bum is probably equally wrinkly so that's not a major issue. By the way, are you male or female? I reckon a bloke would have claimed that Charlie Chaplin was still at it at 90. :)