When the lady had finished my eyebrows, she said 'Would you like to me do your upper lip now?'
Er? My upper lip? Really? 'Why?' I said. 'Do you honestly think I need it?'
'Hmm. It's fair hair, of course, but there is quite a lot of it, Madam.' Bitch. She and Stella could form a double act.
So I felt compelled to say yes. As I tilted my head backwards to allow her to remove the moustache in full view of the perambulating throng, I saw the reflection of my son's horrified face in the mirror in front of me as he and his friend walked past, son pretending this nightmarish vision was not his mother. I then got a text saying, 'In Burgerking. Don't come 2 find me. CU in car park 4.30'. Kids, eh? No empathy.
But look a me, folks! Sharon Stone has competition!
Almost nothing in it now... So! Time to get back to the emailing because - as you all know - per ardua ad astra! Smiley face, kiss, lol, lmao and all that other merde.