I’ve got my initial details on the website; you know the kind of stuff - age, height, town, whether you have children. Now, I have to think of something to write about myself that will make me sound youthful, alluring and fascinating. Erm… More erm… Even more erm. We might be here some time. Come on, woman! You’ve done job applications before – write the same old bullshit, only better.
Just had a thought! What would I put in my special skills and talents? Haha! Let me see. What was it exactly that I saw that girl doing to her hombre on the adult channel when I was in that hotel in Barcelona? If only I could remember… Trouble is I’d had a few (eight) mojitos and fell asleep before the action really got started. What I can recall is this; the procedure involved elastic bands, two marbles, something that looked like a lolly stick or maybe a tongue depressor, something else resembling a little coaster on wheels or a miniscule spaceship, depending on your point of view. Oh yes, and a jar of miel - honey in Spanish. Bloody mojitos – I could have learned something.
Yay! I’ve just found the coaster on wheels! Looked it up on Google. Well, it started in Google with 'penile pleasure' (name for a rock band?) and finally led to Ann Summers. The item I am referring to is an In2u Euphoric Vibrating Cock Ring.
Wonder if I should get one?
Just in case, like.
Here – check it out.
Bloody hell – this is so depressing. I am so old I actually remember a time when sex itself was the biggest thrill imaginable. Are these gadgets compulsory these days?
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